Support System

I am very grateful for the support system that surrounds me. They call frequently, come to my door and don’t take no for an answer. If I was given the choice I would have crawled up into a ball and let time pass my by. I am tired and there are times when breathing, as subconscious and natural as it once was is now a chore and takes focus and attention.
Many have offered to help me and have offered their phone number and have asked, “What do you need?” I am grateful and the truth is that I don’t always know what I need until the last moment or someone informs me in a kind manner of what is best for me.
There is certainly a business side to the grief process and an emotional/physical side. For example, today involved calls to my work, confirming time off, understanding forms needed to be completed, calling the coroner, making a doctor’s appointment, calling my student loan company and asking for a deferment, managing some of the home bills, and … We started at 10 am and worked until 2pm. It was four hours with my friend and cousin. They brainstormed with me, convinced me to do things that were best for me, made phone calls with me, and later each took on an errand that needed to be completed. Delacia had an English reader that needed to be returned to her school and I had some work that needed to be sent over to my school. Additionally, my friend took home another hour worth of tasks to be completed tonight before our 7:45 am meeting tomorrow. We are now 21 days since Delacia’s passing and there is sooo much work to be done.
The emotional side of the grieving process takes up the remainder of the day. Tomorrow, we have the grief group for parent’s that have suffered the loss of a child, we will soon set up counseling as a couple with our church and I will have individual counseling to also attend. I am no longer the same person I was only a month ago. I am slower to process information and I am taking this situation one day at a time.
The most helpful assistance that we have received since this tragedy has been food. It is extremely helpful when family and friends bring dinner or come and cook for us. We have also received meals from our church. It motivates me to eat and take care of myself when I see others going out of their way to come over to our home and provide company and a meal for us. The best way for me to show my gratitude is to simply eat the food prepared for me and as an end result I find myself feeling less weak. If meal preparation was left up to me, it just would not happen. I honestly don’t care if I eat; I am still at a stage when others are checking on me to see if I have eaten.

Thank you.

Love,
Kristen