Please add yourself as a follower

I invite you to add yourself as a follower of my blog. If I can generate enough followers, google may add links to my blog and pay me for the number of hits to my site. This money would be most useful.

As you know I had a small life insurance to supplement the costs of her burial, but it was certainly was not enough. I still have a $12,000 balance on a credit card that needs to be paid and it is in my mother’s name. I couldn’t cover all the costs and Delacia’s father was not financially available to assist with expenses. Thank goodness for my parents, but they have worked hard and shouldn’t have to offer their near retirement income to me.

Why are my daughter’s services on a credit card and how am I going to pay it off with such a high interest rate? This is an additional stress on top of losing my true love. I lost my daughter; I lost my future as I knew it. I was working hard and we were making strides towards a great life. We were going to make it. And now my reality involves death, grief, debt, an unknown future and additional costs such as a headstone.

This is not how I planned it. Although our household had only one full-time income we were doing well to keep up with bills and pay off small amounts of my student loan debt and credit cards from my years in college. We try to manage are modest incomes. David, my loving partner, has been layed-off for most of 2009.

I remember telling my cousin on the day before my daughter passed away and I did not know that my daughter was going to fall ill that night that 2009 was the hardest year of my life. I had no idea that my daughter was going to mysteriously pass the following morning due to septic shock. I had no idea that life could and would get worse for me.

Now I am faced with additional credit card debt. I am faced with costs for things that I never imagined to save for such as a headstone or the cost of the memorial items that I desperately want in place to keep her memory alive. I know there is no replacing her.

I want the tree, plaque, school scholarship in her name and cemetery bench in place regardless of the fact that I know that she is truly gone and I will never get her back and life as I know it will never be the same. Now I am franticly wondering how I will pay for all of this, keep up with the rent, other household bills and have time to mourn. I want time to grieve, but I have so much work to do. I don’t want anyone to forget that she has passed and life is no longer normal. I miss her.